To You Two,

To you two,


I love you both terribly and your happiness rubs off on me every time I hear from you, but when I get put in the middle of the annoyance and rage, things can get a little awkward.

Instead of saying what I'm thinking, I just nod occasionally or give the noncommittal "ya," when you look to me for confirmation of your thoughts.

For me, who is too afraid to tell you how it is, for fear of retribution and residual anger headed my way, this is easiest way for me to communicate to you.

So please read with an open mind and listen to what I have to say.  Hopefully you both know who I'm talking to and that I love you both with my entire heart.  

To the one,
You were cranky and obviously had a headache.  In retrospect it wasn't the best time to be headed out to do errands, but we packed up anyway and headed out.

That the other one was walking off with the buggy wasn't that big of a deal-we could have gotten another cart or a basket (though I didn't think of this at the time).  With your headache, however, this was a huge annoyance especially when we had to hunt down the other one to put two vegetables in the cart multiple times because we couldn't make up our minds.

Regardless of the annoyance there shouldn't have been the snide comments headed toward the other one.  It was meant to be a fun trip and it quickly became laborious.  You knew it wasn't the other one that was angering you-it was the pain in your head.

Continued calls out to the other one built up the annoyance until it was visible to all who could see.

The other one soon left to avoid the negative comments thrown their way, to which you responded with something to do with divorce.

To hear this was shocking and completely unexpected.  Especially for such a little argument.  I wanted to tell you that you shouldn't joke about those things to people.  Divorce should only be mentioned in a serious connotation- but the thing is, I didn't know if you were being serious or not.

After I checked to see if the other one truly left or just went to the car, you texted "We're walking home."  In reality we could have easily just waited.  It's not a long drive and the other one would be there shortly.  Again, however, I was just going along with it to stay out of the fight.

You shouldn't have texted that.  It was unnecessary and didn't help the situation at all.  It was said to make the other one feel shitty about their action.

The other one showed up right as we were about to head across the street to walk back.  In the car you asked, "Are there  handles back there?" after going around corner.  We all know you worded it as a question to nag about the other one's driving.  It was obvious and I didn't enjoy being put in the middle of the situation like that, AT ALL.  Talking to me in private is one thing, asking me to answer a question to put down the other one like that was completely unacceptable.

Overall you are a strong person.  For a long time you were weak and you didn't like it.  From my point of view, I see where you're coming from, but I also see a problem.  In wanting to be strong you can come off controlling and relentless.  You no longer compromise (like when we made coleslaw and the other one didn't want salt but you insisted-I came up with the compromise that we could add salt if we wanted it on our plates, but even that was unacceptable- it had to be your way.)

You must realize that any successful relationship, whether with a spouse or friend, you need compromise.  It is not showing weakness to give to another or to meet in the middle.  It actually shows more strength than always fighting for your choice.

To the other one,
You were so ready to bring Evelyn to the store.  What is more fun than taking my sweet girl around the store?  (Not much, I'll tell you that.)

On the drive over, we talked about the one's headache.  You knew it was there.  You know it makes the one grumpier than usual.  I mean, who doesn't get grumpy with a headache.  Again, in retrospect we should have avoided the store tonight.

Right after you got Evelyn in the buggy, you were gone.  I tried to get your attention with chocolate covered cashews (that were half off!) right inside the door, but even that couldn't distract from carting around E.

Again and again we had to ask you to stay with us because we needed a lot of produce but the temptation to run off with a baby was too great- and I understand- she is so tempting especially in that happy mood she was in.  Nothing made her upset.

We eventually had to take the cart from you-again we could have gotten another cart but we didn't think of that at the time-as you know.  There goes all the fun with E- sad day.

After that there were arguments over the foods to get and the quality of the produce.  Both parties were irritated at this. Really we should have blamed the store-it was crappy pickings but instead we blamed each other.

After some blowout over some weird little lettuce not being green enough and the refusal to get another type,  you chose to leave the store and told me to call when we were done.  You were gone before I could form a reply.

We tried to call you-I guess you didn't have a phone on you- to say that this food sucks and we'd rather go somewhere else, but it was too late and you were gone.

After seeing the text from the one you rushed back to find us almost crossing the street.  You didn't realize that you left us with no form of payment and the one had to go back in to get what we had prepared and had to get.

Waiting at the car you vented your frustrations about how the one "isn't nice," and how you're done.  Both of you mentioned divorce this night and it was something I wasn't prepared to hear.

From my point of view I think you struggle with some of the life choices the one makes.  The one is always out and about and on the phone.  The one is very busy.  It is hard to accept that when all you want to do is be with them.

We all know that your temper can run a little hot though.  If you don't open up and you let those annoyances build, you are guaranteed to blow, and when you blow, you blow big.  It's mean and nasty and not fun to be around at all.


Advice from someone married only 2 years,
One of the hardest things I've learned to do with Spencer is to communicate openly and honestly.  I tell him everything negative I'm feeling right around the moment it happens because I know myself and I know human nature.

If we don't get this nasty shit off our chests it festers and becomes uglier and uglier until one time it shoots out of your mouth like word vomit and attacks the person with extreme precision, trying to hurt them as much as you possibly can.

Blah...blah...blah.. "Communication is key."  We've heard that a million times.

Communicating your true feelings is what I'm talking about.  The feelings that you can barely admit having to yourself, let alone another human being.  The thoughts that usually are said by your subconscious that never see the light of day.  These are the things that build up.  It isn't healthy.  And when it builds you lose your happiness and it makes it harder for the couple to survive.

First you have to be honest with yourself, then you have to be honest with your spouse.

I'm not sure how long you both have been bottling these things in, but it can't be good for you.  If I hold it in through one fight, I want to explode and rampage.  I can't imagine doing it for longer.

Write it out- talk about it- let it go.
If you love each other, make it work.  Talk about it between yourselves and don't drag others into it.  It makes it hard and it they will never love that person as much as you.

If you realize that there isn't love between you anymore, and you truly are done with each other I advise you to make peace with each other.  Don't let hate into your lives.  Part on good terms and move on.  You are both young and can find love again, but the rest of your family and friends still love you both.

Personally, I hope you can make it work.  I don't want to see you hate each other.  But if being apart helps you to move on and to be happy, I will support you all the way.

I love you both so incredibly much.  
Good luck and much love,
Claire
xxoo

Dearest Norah

8/22/15

Dearest Norah,

In 1 day, 2 hours, and 33 minutes I will be 32 weeks pregnant with your beautiful self and I could not be more excited to meet you.

Many may not know this, but after your sister was born, we didn't know if we were going to be able to have more kids.  Actually a week before we found out I was pregnant with you, the doctor told us that I might have ovarian cysts or premature ovarian failure.

You may not know what those are, but they can possibly make it where mommy wouldn't be able to have babies.  The doctors told me to take birth control pills to see if that would help and so in a last ditch effort, at 6 am in the morning, mommy took a pregnancy test just to make sure.

The joy and relief I felt when I saw those two pink lines surpassed all the grief and depression I had felt knowing that I wouldn't have more kids lifted and I ran to your daddy and jumped on the bed, scaring him awake and showed him a stick with my pee on it.

I think it took him a while to get out of dream land, but when he realized what I said, he just held me.

Right now, daddy is a little scared to meet you because he is doing a lot for our family right now and he wants to do right by us, but don't worry, she is just as excited as I am.

Evelyn was our Angel Baby-rushing to greet us.  You, my sweet girl, are our Miracle Baby-the one we thought we'd never meet.

You take your time, and you get strong because we can't wait to hold you in our arms and cuddle you through the night.

(Maybe try your hardest not to come on Uncle Skyler's and Aunt Cadrina's wedding day, so you can have all the attention to yourself.)

We love you so much sweet girl.

Love,
Mommy, Daddy, and Evelyn
xxoo

Baby Ground Rules

Today our little family finally went to the hospital to register to give birth (basically you give the hospital your information so when the baby is trying to push it's way out of your junk you don't have to fill out paperwork.)

As we were enjoying the surprisingly yummy cafeteria food we decided to hash out the Do's and Don'ts of baby visiting.

We are targeting anyone who wishes to visit those first, let's say 2-4 weeks postbirth.  This includes family and friends and most definitely acquaintances or nonfriends.  Actually nonfriends can just stay away!  Though I can't think of any names off the top of my head.  (That's a good sign, eh?)

http://www.solomatters.com/summary_of_major_rules_changes_for_2015

Let's Begin....



1.  Unless you've contacted us via call, text, facebook message, letter, etc AND received a response, you should stop and do so before visiting.  Common courtesy people!

2.  If I give birth at night- no visitors until the next morning.  We will all be tired and yucky and I know you want to see Norah but seriously it's not happening.
     If I give birth in the day- Spencer or I (most likely Spencer) will text you (family) when we are ready for visitors.  It will probably be 1-2 hours post birth.  Again, be patient.  Last time I had some minor issues and those will need to be situated before I want visitors barging in.

3.  The hospital rooms are nice but I don't want everyone and their mother in the room at once.  So unless we have told you specifically we would like you to visit the hospital to see us, please don't.  This will most likely be only family and extremely close friends.

4.  At our apartment we will set up visiting hours.  (yes I'm serious.)  Right now I'm thinking 3-5 pm on any given day.  You might get to stay longer if you bring food or do some chores.  Yes this is bribery and I'm okay with that. :)

5.  Please be happy and upbeat if you visit.  We will be stressed enough as it is and we need the positive jujus headed our way.



Well so far, that is it.  If you have issues with these please talk to us.  This is an exciting time but also a scary and busy time for Spencer and I.
We love you and we can't wait to meet Miss Norah.

PS We've started a baby registry.  I believe there will be a shower- just not sure of the details yet!  If you want to see what we have so far, go to the link below!  We will be adding more later.  Just search "Claire Nelson" in the serach bar at the top of the page.  The password is norahrose.

http://www.myregistry.com/baby-registry/Claire-Nelson-Spencer-Nelson-Vancouver-WA/924062?

Much Love,
Nelson Family
xxoo

Ravings of a Pregnant Woman

Meet Norah Rose Nelson <3

Pregnancy.  The start of a new life.  An absolutely beautiful thing.  Where you can feel the beautiful baby stirring within you.  Don't get me wrong it's glorious.  I love it, but it is also frustrating,

Even if you omit the constant nausea that accompanies the first trimester and the breasts that feel like they're going to explode every time your daughter or your cat decides to walk or crawl directly over them.  Sometimes it's like being trapped in a monstrous B****'s body.


Prior to pregnancy you were sweet and patient and calm and ready for anything but something about the potion of hormones coursing through your bloodstream make you into a person you aren't.


The husband you so lovingly created another life with- who you love beyond anything- is suddenly a man who can't get anything done.

I mean how dare he sleep in?  How dare he hang out with his brother while fixing the suburban you demanded he fix prior to baby's birth?  How dare he empty the litter box a day later than you asked?
Pretty much how can he do anything?

See-even writing this I'm again confronted with how ridiculous I sound.  Even when I'm "in the moment" and feeling so grumpy I know I'm not myself.  I know I'm overreacting but it just doesn't stop.  It just flows out in continuous word and emotion  vomit.  

This morning I've been in one of those funks.  I've barely spoken 20 words to my husband because for some godforsaken reason I'm upset at him again and yet all I want to do is to snuggle him all day.
So there you have it.  The pregnant woman is a walking contradiction and is fully conscious of the fact.  So before you get completely frustrated with me..with us.. remember that we are not only creating a new life(lives) but we are also brewing some strange concoctions of emotions and hormones and that maybe we need a little bit of your patience and love because we see who we are being and we don't like it.

Much love,
Claire 
xxoo

Calling Out My Man

Spencer and Chase rocking their totes adorbs aprons

My husband (Spencer) is amazing.
This picture is from a Valentine's Day where the men locked us in our rooms while they created this AMAZEBALL dinner for us.  This was only a preview of their awesome hubby abilities (though I can only speak for mine!)


He always pushes me to do my best and get out of my comfort zone but he also spoils me rotten.
Actually prior to our wedding he tried fattening me up with Nutella because according to him, "I'll love you no matter what you look like but others might not love you as much if you're chunky."
I mean seriously?! so cute :)

I specifically wanted to call him out tonight because he got a PROMOTION!
For those who don't know, Spencer and I just moved back to Washington in April.
He proceeded to get a job at Red Lion ASAP because that's just how he rolls.
It is 2 months later and he is now being promoted to Supervisor!

I don't care who you are, but that is FAST!

Not only is he getting promoted but he's starting school back up next month and he will be working full time and will be a student full time-plus we are getting that new addition in October.

I honestly don't know how he does it because I can't even contemplate being that busy.

I think this sums up how E and I feel on the daily

Spencer,
I love you so incredibly much and I want you to know how grateful I am for everything you do.  From taking Evelyn shopping when I need a little bit of time to myself to making me burgers on your day off, you are so caring.
I know you are the best part of Evelyn's day because even when I get her in the mornings she is saying "dada," wishing it was you.
I know you are the best part of my day because even though I'm a complete weirdo you make me feel cherished for my weirdness and my efforts around the apartment.
I'm so proud of you for getting this promotion and for being brave enough to accept it.
I love you so much.
-Claire
xxoo

Adventure Learning and Assessment

This is definitely from Disney's "Up."  No copyright intended :)

I just wanted to give everybody who's interested a little information about the job I've picked up this summer.  I'm working for a man who runs his own business (company?)  I'm not really sure what to call it.

BUT anywhoooo...

I'm his tutor/office assistant/ do whatever needs to be done gal and I thought I'd give you a heads up of the deal going on this summer.

We are offering 8 1-hour tutoring sessions for $149.  You can use the 8 sessions however you like between now and when school begins again.

I'm currently the only tutor (cough cough..did I mention I'm a (almost) certified K-8 teacher?)
Just graduated in April and I'm just waiting for the documents to actually come in the mail! (Yay me!)

I'm certified to teach K-8 but don't let that prevent your high schoolers from coming to me- I feel confident in helping with (mostly) all subjects!  If you are curious, simply shoot me a message! :)

If you want to learn more about what Dr. Service (and me I guess) offer at Adventure Learning and Assessment, shoot either one of us a message on facebook and we'd love to give you more information!

A Nelson Family Update

If you follow me on Facebook, you probably already know that we found out the gender of baby no. 2!
Drumroll please.............................................

It's another little GIRL!

This time Spencer was correct with the guess!  Right off the bat he said it was a girl and so I obviously had to choose boy.  Guess Mommy isn't always right! ;)

For those of you who have asked, no we don't have a name picked yet, we have TWO!  The narrowing is the hard part.  We won't announce her name until we're sure.

She is due Oct. 19th.   Which makes me 26 weeks pregnant today!

This date isn't written in stone.  It's based on fetal size at 10 weeks so it isn't necessarily reliable.

Hopefully it will prove to stand solid because my brother in law's wedding is Oct. 17th and the whole family is in the wedding party.  Definitely do not want my water to break during the ceremony, No Thank you.


As for Evelyn, she has no idea what's going on.  Let's be real, she's still a baby herself.

Evelyn is 16 months old.  For those of you who don't see her regularly, she is walking and has been for about a month and a half.  She was so big it took her a little bit longer to get it down. :)

She knows so many words including (but not limited to,)

Mama  Dada Papa Spock Book Ball Hi (this is her favorite)  More Nyny Nana (Banana) 
Baba (bottle) Go Bath Diaper Good girl (I tell her this when she says something and she has started copying me) 

She loves feeding herself and gets extremely upset if we  are eating and she doesn't have something as well.

As for Spencer, he just got asked to be a supervisor after only working at the Red Lion for 2 months.  It isn't' official, but he's already started training. Go Spence!

As for me, I'm generally overheated (thank you baby) and doing tutoring during the summer!

Well that's pretty much it!  Tata for now!

Much love,
Spencer, Claire, Evelyn and Baby #2
xxooo